Or should I say, my possible future as one.

I don’t usually read manuals on anything, whether it be how to take apart a computer or put a piece of furniture together, (I like a good puzzle).  Exception being when it’s something new to me entirely, which I then make sure I research to its roots.

When it was about my first born, it goes without saying I had every magazine/website/book/interview and proven-by-history artifact on how to raise a kid.  Never did finish researching it all and it’s likely that I will never know everything, even after having another who is in short, a male, mini-me (I’ll likely fear that one more when he gets older).  Raising someone who I love more than anything, yet who turned out to be the exact opposite of all my character traits can be daunting.  Exceptional trait being his love for reading.  (Thank you God!)  So I’ll work with learn-on-the-go being the only option.  But figuring I was aiming for perfect this time with my novel, I picked up the Smashwords Style Guide, just to be safe.

Right about halfway through is where I found myself saying, Oh cheese…

Cause yes, if you fail to follow this simple guide, your future will be that of a Nuclear Hamburger via Smashword’s Meatgrinder.  Phear it.

If you have any intention to publish via Smashwords in your near or distant future, you will find this guide to have around my level of humor and sarcasm. You can run for the hills now if you like, cause I am too.   I get rather intimidated by any similarities to myself being reflected back at me.   It doesn’t happen very often.  But I’m glad it’s Smashwords at least, cause Smashwords is cool and has made a lot of writers happy by simplicity.  Books work.  Happy works and so does simple.

Either way, I’m making a point to write a handbook on my Journey to the Self-Published World of Awesomeness (title is pending) if I survive the fallout from this all.  For now, this book has some really good stuff and points (even comments towards how Microsoft– *omit possible legal action here*) and is worth reading.  It even has pictures too for the win.

Hmm…but they’re all of Windows…

 Must…convert…world to…Mac…must…